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How Not To Make an Arse of Yourself at Parties |
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Do not utilise disgusting idiom when responding to drink offers. Never, ever say: "just a splash", “just a wee drop”, “just a softy” or “just a little something to whet the whistle!" when someone offers you a drink.
Don’t try to initiate party games(limbo, charades, drinking games, spin the bottle, etc). In the process of attempting to marshal other party-goers, everyone at the party will come to hate the sound of your voice.
If you must initiate party-games, choose those within the equine+blindfold category. People prefer this category of party game because 1) horses are nice 2) blindfolds suggest adult-appropriate entertainment. Approach likely participants and murmur, “Hey, I’m about to slip on a blindfold and give some tough love to this piñata. Wanna get involved?”
If you suspect that you might be stupid, fat and ugly - don’t mention this to other party-goers. It's tiresome and besides, if you have as many undesirable qualities as you claim, people will notice without you having to bring it to their attention.
Do not wear a beret.
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