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Classic, timeless and chic - the nautical trend works for anyone who is remotely reasonable-looking. Here's how to get it right:
The horizontal stripe is one of several nautical shortcuts (sometimes called 'nauty-shorties'), which instantly signals to the onlooker that you are Actually Getting Pretty Nautical Over Here.
The horizontal stripe is a simple and easy way for beginners to dip their toe in the nauty-water, but be warned - the horizontal stripe is not exclusive to the nautical look. It's also central to several other key recurring trends, including:
Frenchman:
Prisoner:
Slutty Poseur with Cat-face:
Erotic jug:
To ensure onlookers don't get confused, you have to combine the horizontal stripe nauty-shorty, with another nauty-shorty, for example
Sailorish button formations:
A ship captain's hat:
Or, if you are dealing with absolute boneheads, make it 100% crystal clear with a big fat boat:
You can also help people to understand that you are Actually Getting Pretty Nautical Over Here by posing in context:
Do an 'aye-aye, captain!' salute while standing in front of a boat steering wheel thingy:
Or fart like a sailor while standing at the end of a pier:
Whatever you do, don't fall into the 'mixed messages' trap this dog fell into. He wanted to go nautical, but thanks to a poorly chosen hat he has actually ended up looking more like a war-time nurse:
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