| How To Make a Successful Maritime-themed Video |
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The Sailor Song by genius Danish pop legends Toy Box is, without a doubt, the greatest maritime-themed video ever made.
How did they achieve such greatness? By attention to detail and strong commitment to the nautical theme: - The chorus melody closely mirrors that of traditional shanty tunes
- The song incorporates many fine examples of nauty internal rhyming schemes, including - It is one of the only videos in music video history in which a bird shits on a member of the band. (2.55ish) Let's also just take a moment to remember than the advent of The Sailor Song would not have been possible but for the wide-ranging achievements of fellow Scando-band Aqua in the late 1990s. (Incidentally, Aqua is an amazing band and Dr Jones is one of howtohownotto.com's favourite songs ever. Anyone who doesn't like Aqua can probably just go and click here.) Divinyls' Pleasure and Pain is another excellent maritime-themed video, owing mainly to Chrissy Amphlett's awesome sailor dress but also because Amphlett gives one of the most dazzlingly undignified music video performances of all time.
Other notable maritime-themed videos include Notorious B.I.G.'s Hypnotize, though it loses points because Diddy is in it - making an arse of himself, naturally.
Aaliyah had the right idea with Rock the Boat back in 2001. The blue-and-white colour scheme helpfully reinforces the maritime theme and there is a pleasant deck dance routine. But unfortunately the song is so phenomenally uneventful that only squirrel sniffers/fans of tinned meat can get past the second aerial boat shot at 1.09.
I'm On a Boat by The Lonely Island makes a mockery of the entire genre. It is a fucking disgrace:
Further research: Interesting sub-categories you may wish to investigate include commercial fishery-themed videos, Harajuku+pirate-themed videos and post American Civil War riverboat+petty crime+androgynous-man-sitting-upon-a-whole-heap-of-crap-hidden-under-a-brown-rug-themed videos.
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